


Angst Week Oneshots

by TheWannaBeMapleQueen



Category: Mystic Messenger (Video Game)
Genre: Fourth Wall Break, Gender Neutral MC - Freeform, Gender Neutral Main Character, Jumin Bad Ending 3, Other, alcohol mention, death implication, reset theory
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-09-23
Updated: 2019-09-23
Packaged: 2020-10-26 11:20:46
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 4
Words: 2,553
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20741366
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/TheWannaBeMapleQueen/pseuds/TheWannaBeMapleQueen
Summary: I wrote these for angst week on Tumblr (under @mysmequeenie) and figured I would post them here too. There is nothing graphic, and only reference to the death in Jumin’s Bad End 3.





	1. Painful Silence

There was a reason Jumin was silent most of the time.

Jumin actually used to talk much more often. So much more often. There were days when he was younger that he would ramble to Jihyun for what seemed like hours about nature, humanities, and the way the world changed and adapted as much as humans did. The way nature worked absolutely fascinated him, so he enthusiastically delved into the science books he was presented with at school.

He would come home and attempt to talk to Chairman Han about it only to be brushed off in favor of C&R or the latest trophy woman in a seemingly endless line. Jumin quickly came to the conclusion that his father would never make the time to listen, so he gave up his attempts. However, he still would talk to whoever would listen - whether that person was Jihyun or the housemaid who would absently nod and acknowledge him politely so she wouldn’t get fired.

As he got older, he began to recognize the signs that he was boring people. He saw the twitches in the corner of the poor housemaid’s mouth, the glazed over expression on Jihyun’s face, Rika’s forced smile, the furrowing of Driver Kim’s brow as he ignored his young boss so he could focus on the road. Gradually, Jumin talked less and less. He internalized almost every thought that crossed his mind and became much, much more stoic.

Until the RFA. Upon being gifted with access to the messenger, Jumin hoped he had found a place to speak his mind. The people within the organization seemed nice enough, especially since they were friends with Jihyun and Rika. He decided to test the waters. When the opportunity showed itself, he divulged a little about his love of Elizabeth the Third. 

That was a mistake.

Zen reacted harshly, Jaehee expressed exhaustion, and Seven obnoxiously joked about Elizabeth as well as calling her Elly - a personal pet peeve of Jumin’s since the name Jihyun picked suited her perfectly. Anyone else in the chat practically ignored him except for the one or two polite yet dismissive comments. 

That was the final piece of the puzzle of what caused Jumin to close himself off for the most part. He still talked about Elizabeth regardless, but mostly as an outlet since he had nowhere else to talk. Although he got backlash, at least it wasn’t as hurtful as being brushed off by his father.

Then you showed up, and everything changed.

You were patient, kind, and listened to what he said. For the first time, Jumin felt like someone actually cared about what he thought. It was refreshing, addicting almost, and he enjoyed the freedom of being able to say whatever crossed his mind without you seeming disinterested. In fact… you seemed to enjoy talking with him. He couldn’t remember the last time someone smiled as he talked about the world and life. 

Then you supported him through the events with Sarah Choi, you were there for him even when he made mistakes. You stood by his side through everything. He loved you, he loved everything about you. He loved listening to you, he loved your smile when you laughed, he loved having the ability to let down his guard and truly being himself around you.

Which is why it hurt so badly when you reset and he reverted back to his painful silence, especially when you didn’t return. 

—

When you reset, you unknowingly left his heart shattered at his feet. He could do nothing but play along as you chased after the next person on your list. After all, he’d rather continue on in agonizing silence as long as you were happy. 

You ran to Saeyoung, then to his brother Saeran, then to his own best friend Jihyun. 

Jumin watched from afar as you mended their hearts and reset. Luckily, he seemed to be the only one aware of the reset; or, at the very least, everyone else acted as if they didn’t know. 

Jumin wondered if the ear you’d offered during the hours he paced in his office and spilled his heart out to you was a ruse. Had you been talking to him out of nothing more than obligation? Did the time mean nothing to you? At least his father hadn’t feigned interest. 

Or had he chased you away? Had he missed the signs because you were on the other sign of the phone? When he talked about Elizabeth, did you go along with it because you were being polite? Dread sat in the pit of his stomach at the thought of twitches in the corner of your mouth, a glazed over expression on your face, forced smiles, furrowing eyebrows… 

He felt like he was suffocating. Was he? He sure felt like he was. You had looked past his image, seen all of his tangled threads… and left. Maybe silence was better, no matter the cost.

You ran to Yoosung, then to Jaehee, and to Zen. 

Then you came back.

Jumin played the part and watched you pick up the shards of his heart that you had previously left behind. He got to listen to you, to see that smile when you laughed, and that was wonderful. But he didn’t let down his guard. 

The party passed and he waited for the day you’d leave him again, the day you’d run into the arms of another, but it never came. You stayed. Every morning he checked in almost a panic to make sure you were still there, and you were. 

The day he let the scars heal was the day he stood across the aisle from you and swore himself to you. More specifically, the moment you spoke the last words of your vows.

“You’ve always been my true end, Jumin.”


	2. 7 Things He Regrets and 1 Thing He Doesn’t

Vanderwood was not a man of many regrets, but there were a few things he regretted so much that he felt nauseated if he thought about it for too long.

He regretted seeing the light in your eyes as you looked at Seven. Your smile, the way you relaxed when he was close, the way you seemingly ignored every one of his jarring flaws. Seven was a mess, you deserved to give your heart to someone better… not that Vanderwood was any better. 

He regretted watching from a distance as Seven fell for you too. 

He regretted noticing the way you two showed your affection. When Saeyoung would put his arm around your shoulder, when you’d rest your hand on his chest when you hugged him, when he’d take a hold of one of the belt loops in your jeans and pull you close, when you’d pull him down into a passionate kiss.

He regretted witnessing Saeyoung propose to you and your ecstatic acceptance. You both weren’t the only ones to cry that night.

He regretted accepting when you pleaded him to come to your wedding, pointing out that someone needed to have a brain cell at the event. Watching you walk down the aisle that day and promising yourself to a man Vanderwood didn’t think was worthy was the most painful experiences he’d ever gone through, and he’d been physically tortured before.

He regretted accepting your request to dance at the reception, where he could feel your warmth and how relaxing it was to have you pressed to him. He also regretted how soon the song ended.

He regretted the way he melted into your goodbye embrace at the end of the night and he held you close because he knew he’d probably not get another chance to. The light touch of your hands on his back felt so natural, as if they were supposed to be there. It felt too soon when you pulled away and waved as you ran off with your new husband to the waiting car.

He didn’t regret meeting you, though. Even if you were in the arms of someone else - and even if that someone else was an absolute dumbass… he respected your decision. At least he’d still get to see you regularly. He’d get to see your smile, hear your laugh, and spend time with you. It’d make all the pain worth it.

That’s what he told himself, at least. He hoped if he repeated it in his head enough times, it’d eventually come true.


	3. Saeyoung’s Purpose

Saeyoung knew what you were doing.

During the common route days, you had been as sweet as could be. You played along with his jokes, you laughed with him, you wanted to know him. He had gotten so excited to know you were pursuing his route. He had spent many hours scrolling back through the chatroom to reread the exchanges and the laughs the both of you had shared. He didn’t let himself get too attached in case you reset, but he was just appreciating the time he had with you.

Then you got Saeyoung’s route, and everything changed. The change was immediate. You became cold and distant, no longer entertaining his humor and his attempts at faking happiness. He knew what you were doing. He knew you were toying with him. He knew you were trying to get a Bad Ending. He knew you were going to crush his heart in your hands and toss the pieces into oblivion.

So why did he still love you?

His first thought was that it was his programming. After all, they were all programmed to fall in love with you every time the game was played...But that didn’t feel quite right, his love for you was so much more than a string of binary coding. He loved everything about you so much that it hurt. Hell, he didn’t even know what you looked like behind the screen, but he loved you so much regardless.

Had he not dropped enough hints about knowing that this was all a game installed for your enjoyment? Or did you know and just didn’t care about his feelings? Did you not know that you were the core of his happiness, or did you just… want him to suffer? Saeyoung didn’t quite know the answer. 

But he could understand if you didn’t know he was self aware. He had dropped hints, but maybe you just considered it a meta game. Maybe you just wanted to get all the endings so you could complete the game. 

Or did you hate him?

His heart sunk into his stomach at the idea. Maybe you hated him. Maybe you would prefer someone more mature like Jumin, or someone more composed like Jaehee. Someone… who wasn’t broken like he was. What was he even doing?

He glanced over at his phone to see a new notification. You had entered the chatroom. His heart fluttered like always despite the deep pit in his chest. Saeyoung realized in that moment that it didn’t matter if you hated him, if you wanted him to suffer, or if you just were completing the game. 

He loved you, and he was going to continue to love you no matter how much your actions and words hurt him. You were everything to him.

“Lololol, nice one, MC!”

He remembered how much his tears felt like they were burning through his skin, but he couldn’t remember the last time smiling was so agonizing.


	4. How To Cope With A Broken Heart

“...If MC wants to leave, then alright… but if something happens to them, I won’t just stay and watch,” Jumin briefly glanced over at your stone cold glare, but quickly looked back to Jihyun so he didn’t wither under it. This wasn’t right. He didn’t feel right letting you go back, and it wasn’t just because he was not used to not having control over the situation. He felt like you were going to walk right into a death trap. He was afraid he was going to lose you. If Jihyun wasn’t threatening him with such extreme measures, Jumin wouldn’t even be considering the possibility of standing back and watching you go.

Jihyun smiled in relief, the tension leaving him as he said, “Whew… yes, of course. Nothing will happen to them.” Jumin’s trust towards his supposed best friend had been flaking, but the warmth in his eyes was a little comforting. It almost made him believe V. 

Regardless, Jumin gave a small smile and forced himself to turn back to your death stare, “...MC, please take the clothes I got for you. I’d be grateful if you wore them tomorrow.” He closed his eyes, swallowing back the lump in his throat as he continued, “I apologize if I offended you in any way… I never thought you wanted to leave me so badly.” He opened his eyes again only to be greeted by the sight of you clenching your jaw at his words. He stopped talking.

“You know now, so it’s okay,” Jihyun gave a little effort into trying to make the statement sound genuine, but it wasn’t nearly enough, “Then shall we go, MC?” 

Jumin stayed silent as you got everything you needed and cast him one last dirty look before leaving with his best friend. He watched from his window until the car was out of sight. This was very wrong. He folded his arms and tried to convince himself to leave the window and focus on something else but he couldn’t. 

His attention only shifted when he felt Elizabeth brush against his legs affectionately. Jumin glanced down, just then becoming aware that his cheeks were wet with tears. He brushed them off and regained his composure.

“Elizabeth,” He mumbled, “Do you think they’ll ever forgive me?” Elizabeth just rubbed her cheek along his pants leg as if everything was the way it was before. He felt a hollow half laugh escape him as he continued, “Right, you don’t understand my plight. You feel that I am upset, but don’t know why.” 

The cat didn’t respond with anything more than leaving his side in favor of the couch. 

“...Can you at least answer one question? How do you cope with a broken heart?”

—

“Mister Han?”

No. Nononono. This couldn’t have happened. He gritted his teeth for a second to help him keep his stoic appearance.

“You’re certain? You’re absolutely certain? There’s no possible way they’re still...?” Jumin’s voice gave out on the last few words. He couldn’t bring himself to finish the sentence. 

Jaehee gripped her clipboard to her chest a little tighter, giving a small nod at his question, “Unfortunately, yes, I am certain.”

Jumin took a deep, shaky breath through his nose and he waved her off, “Cancel any meetings I have. I need to go and sort out the details.” He straightened his jacket.

“Mister Han, are you sure you’re able to do that? Maybe you should take the day off.” The suggestion was normally one he’d never hear from her, and it was understandable considering the circumstances, but he nodded silently and began gathering his things.

For now, he’d cope with a broken heart by working himself so he didn’t have to think about the pain. That night, when he’d get home, he’d drink until he couldn’t tell which way was up. Then he’d start the routine all over again the next day. And the next. At least, that was the plan. What else was there to live for?

**Author's Note:**

> This is the only short story of this group to have a happy ending since enough followers asked for one. :)


End file.
